Starbucks in a Suit and Tie

Sitting here looking great, but feeling awkward.

I'm wearing a three piece suit and tie, grey-pinstriped pants, vest, jacket, a crimson dress shirt, a glossy white tie. I'm sitting in a Starbucks, using a laptop, writing a paper, reading for my classes tomorrow. Stressing out and relaxing. Spinning my wheels while getting stuff done.

I had a visitor at my apartment today ~ it was awkward letting someone in that close. "My room is a mess," was all I could think. Now all I can think is "what a terrible first impression."

Ironically ~ today is Valentines day, and of course I'm single as usual. I don't place a whole lot of importance on the day, at least not in the sense of the materialistic side of things. But ~ I really wish I could do something romantic with someone. The kind of thing that makes everyone go 'awww~~~.'

Next year will be the last year I spend in Canada on Valentines day - likely for a very long time. It would be nice, at least once, to do something fun on that day with someone, rather than alone.

I want to be playing in the mud. Walking through a forest. Listening to the ocean. Not cloistered in the trappings of white-collar life in a city. The more I come closer to becoming corporate, the more I feel like I'm being lashed to the ground; I'm being chained to stop my freedom of flight.

Oh well. At least I look good.